No one paid Kimberley much attention until 2007 when a sex tape that Kim made with then-boyfriend singer-producer Ray J,  was leaked to Vivid Entertainment whom Kim sued for possession of the tape and  settled wfor $5 million, which ironically was five times more that Elizabeth Taylor was paid for Cleopatra.  Possibly, the difference was that Kim has a nicer asp.

The media attention to the salacious scandal earned Kim a stall in the E-Entertainment Network line-up of bimbotants (a more prurient subclass of celebutants) who are noted more for their sexploits and looks than brains and social consciousness. She then posed for Playboy, appeared on Dancing with the Stars, and, like Judy Holiday's character Ella Peterson in Bells Are Ringing, does "a little modeling on the side." Kim's modeling career got a big boost in 2011 when she was selected to model for a billboard ad for Midori, a melon-flavored liquor, in which Kim's melons stand out so prominently to parallel the brilliant ad copy that the ad almost appears to be in 3-D. Joan Rivers once commented on Fashion Police "I adore the Kardashians. They're a lot like Colonel Sanders.  They also build their empire on breasts, legs, and thighs."

Kim has also launched a fashion line, a perfume, and even a pre-paid credit card (in conjunction with her sisters) aimed at exploiting gullible fan-obsessed teenagers called "The Kardashian Kard" that cost between $60 and $100 to activate -- an unprecedented starter fee for prepaid cards. Kim's credit card exploration lasted only a month  after Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal wrote a letter  to the card's issuer, University National Bank, questioning the legality of the card's "pernicious and predatory fees" which included: Card Purchase (Includes monthly fees for 6 months) $59.95; Card Purchase (Includes monthly fees for 12 months) $99.95; Monthly Fee (Applies after initial purchase period) $7.95; Card Replacement - Primary or Companion $9.95.ATM Withdrawal - Domestic $1.50; and on and on and on. If Kim's late father and star attorney was still alive, he would have spanked all the KKKs. But Kim probably would have videotaped the spanking for another E Entertainment Special.

In 2000, Kim married music producer Damon Thomas; their relationship ended in divorce in 2004 because his name didn't start with a K.. She then married  monosyllabic NBA player Kris Humphries of the New Jersey Nets on August 20, 2011.  Kim and Kris and made $17.9 million on nuptials. The marriage lasted 72 days and Kim filed for divorce on October 31, 2011, citing irreconcilable differences. Apparently Kim couldn't swallow her Special K for breakfast every morning.  However she made an estimated $137,000 per day for her Kongame Kohabitation with Kris which was far more profitable than her Kardashian Kard.

There was near universal outrage over the Kardashian scam.  New York Times columnist Frank Bruni wrote "our little Kimmykins of Sunnybrook Farm — brought something less than steadfast and humble commitment to her marriage, which unraveled only 72 days after a ceremony bathed in klieg lights, lousy with product placements and underwritten with a reported multimillion-dollar payment (which her family has vaguely denied) for television rights. Of course none of that casts doubt on her good" intentions. " Even Satanic Verses author Salman Rushdie cleverly tweeted on Kim's marriage fiasco in a series of Twitter feeds forming a limerick.

                                  "The marriage of poor kim kardashian
                                    was krushed like a kar in a krashian
                                    her kris kried, not fair!
                                    why kan't I keep my share?"
                                   "But kardashian fell klean outa fashian."

We suggest celebrating Kim's birthday with White Trash, a konfection that kaptures Kim's essence while watching her in the aptly titled Disaster Movie (2008).
 

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